Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Home again, home again

Well, my road trip didn't take me far. I went home, and came back home again. I suppose that could be quite a ways depending on your viewpoint. In my case, it was Buda and Fort wayne. It was a nice trip, and certainly good to get away by myself for a few days. I should probably do more of that.

THE ANNIVERSARY
The main reason for going back to the home of my birth was to celebrate my parent's 60th wedding anniversary. Jane, Carrie and the kids went back Friday afternoon. I waited until Saturday and drove myself. I arrived Saturday afternoon and we all took my parents to the restaurant of their choice Saturday night. We went to a simple bar and grill in Princeton and much to my fathers chagrin I paid for the meal. I'm not sure he ever really understood what we were doing. Afterward we just went back to my parent's house. They didn't want a lot of fanfare for the anniversary, and we provided that.

CHURCH
Sunday we all went to church (except my dad) where my parents attend and where we did years ago. It is completely different now compared to what it was then. I'm not sure we could be part of this particular group if we still lived there, but it's nice to see the few people we still recognize.

As I sat there during the service it all seemed somewhat surreal. Everything is very proper and mechanical. It was also the day after some horrific racially-charged events in Charlottesville, VA. Not only was there absolutely no mention of it in this all-white congregation, but the prayers in the service were all focused on... the service. That really stood out to me on this day. Like, why would we need to pray that our gathering would go well? And do we not think God can or will act outside of our church services??? I don't know...

ALONE AT THE SILO
Jane, Carrie and the kids headed back to FW after lunch. I took a nap and then later in the afternoon headed out to the Psycho Silo Saloon. It is this incredible biker bar a couple miles outside town. People come from far and wide, and of the hundreds (or maybe thousands) of people there, I only knew a handful. I didn't mind. For some odd reason I feel very comfortable in the middle of a crowd of strangers. Apparently the 'Bartles and James' guys were even there! I saw them several times but had no idea until later it was them.

Anyway, I like looking at the hundreds of motorcycles and old cars, as well as the live music and simply just being in the midst of a place like that. However, at one point the singer in the band made a comment that sort of stopped me in my tracks. They sang old country and rockabilly songs, and he was explaining how their name "Three On A Tree" had to do with a shifter on an old vehicle. Then he stated, "Because if we weren't an all-white band that would be a really awkward name." I was immediately struck by the irony of me standing there all alone in the middle of a redneck midwest, biker bar listening to raucous southern-oriented music with an entirely white crowd. I have to admit, I was momentarily dazed. Why did this seem so normal and yet so strange at the same time? I was left pondering that thought the rest of the evening. I finally did run into a couple couples that I knew but mostly just hung out by myself, drank beer (and ate supper), people-watched, and listened to music staring off into the fields of my former self contemplating life and faith and all manner of Sunday-afternoon stuff.

OUT WITH THE OLD
When I first arrived in Buda I drove past where they'd just torn down part of the school of my youth. It actually didn't look as strange as I thought it might. There is still quite a bit of the school left, so I'm sure someday it will look like it's always been that way.

Another thing being torn from the past is the fence around the property across from my parent's house. We had always taken care of the barn and pasture and my dad housed and raised horses there most of his life. He hasn't had a horse for some time though, but continued to take care of mowing around the inside and outside of the fence, as well as storing a few things in the barn. However, Monday morning we saw some guys show up and begin to tear the fence out. It was quite the to-do as my parents looked out their windows. Finally mom called the lady who owned it and politely inquired. I guess the lady had decided to hire some guys to keep the pastures mowed and one of their stipulations was being able to remove the fence. I/we didn't question her reasoning, but it did seem a simple phone call to the person who'd taken care of the property for decades might have been in order. Anyway, my dad got a little agitated as he watched the hundreds of fence posts being removed that he (and I) had installed by hand; the board fence we'd nailed up and painted; and some of the gates he'd bought and mounted. Dad apparently asked the worker guys if he could have his gates back and they informed the owner. She called my mom and said that even though dad had put them up, they belonged to the property, and she had told the mower guys they could have them as part of their pay. So, that incited a little drama around the house, but all in all it was merely more of the past fading away and will likely soon be forgotten.

It probably didn't help that my mom and I spent most of the day Monday cleaning up their garage a bit. She would like me to get rid of some junk (of which there is much), as well as remove the inside dog kennels that take up a lot of space. My dad doesn't really understand the concept of things wearing out or no longer being useful, so we put a lot of things in my car for me to bring home and dispose of here. Otherwise I spent most of the day straightening and sorting extension cords, pieces of wire, and all sorts of other useless trinkets hanging from the walls and rafters. It does look a little better, but what is really needed is a roll-off dumpster. I think the respectful thing to do is wait until it can be done without my dad being around. I doubt we will have to wait long.

SPACE TO EXPLORE
I really had no timetable for a return from this trip, but I probably did intend to stay longer. I left Tuesday late morning though because it seemed to not be the time or place to find what I was looking for. I'd hoped to do some reading, writing, and research on where to go with my life. I'm not sure how I forgot that my parent's house isn't the best place to do that. It's difficult to find free space there. You know, if you're reading or sitting at the computer, for some reason that must mean you want someone to talk to you (not). So, I didn't accomplish much I had in mind, but it was still a nice, uneventful trip. I got to bed early each night, slept until I was ready to wake, and didn't do anything too stupid.

At one point - while eating supper one night - my mom asked me, "If you could do anything you wanted, what would it be?" My mom doesn't usually ask such serious questions, and I really didn't have an answer. I've been thinking about it ever since though. I suppose it's sad, but I really don't know what I like to do. I've kind of started thinking towards a business of my own. Preferably something I can do from home or in a shop by myself. So I've stuck my nose into a little interest at computer-run startups and whatnot. I like to write, research, and work on the computer. Although I also like to work with my hands. Working alone seems to be the constant.

One evening while back in the old homestead I did take a drive through Kewanee, IL. Memories ago I/we had dreamed of planting a church there. I slithered through the streets on this trip with an eye toward self-storage. I know... It is something I have a little knowledge in now. This town of 13,000 doesn't appear to have much to offer - at least not any that looks very inviting. So it was a very prelminary scouting assignment to peruse property and potential in the event this was ever a place we found ourselves again. It is the town where Jane and I got engaged after all. :)

AND NOW...
I suppose I should end this droan and start the day (since it's 3pm). I found myself making mental notes over the past few days, but not feeling any real obligation to post it here. I have a feeling I forgot a few things I intended to explore further, and such is life. For now I need to get on the treadmill, give myself a haircut, and take a nap/meditate.

Peace out; and in...