Friday, March 15, 2024

Five things friday

It's here. It's really here. As you feel your way through this Friday...

  1. Our church sings songs from The Porter's Gate, and it turns out The Eugene Peterson Center for Christian Imagination has partnered with The Porter's Gate and the Peterson family to set portions of The Message translation to music. The singles New Every Morning and Happy from the Inside Out are available now for streaming on Spotify and Apple Music. You can catch a little video preview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prIw3IgaApw
  2. Do you know the name of your generation? You can find out How Do Generations Get Their Names by clicking the link. I don't know if I buy that stuff anymore. Jane and I technically fit into the tail end as Baby Boomers, but we have both identified more as Gen Xers most of our lives. Nowadays I just don't think it's that easy to categorize people.
  3. This morning I had a great conversation about... death. It kinda turned into a simultaneous wondering on resistance. As someone trying to live with a new kingdom perspective there are certainly things to be resisted (greed, group-think, and groping come to mind... because they all start with a g; but there's a boatload more). Yet the majority of people in our society seem most resistant to all things death and dying. Yet that is the ONE THING we are assured will happen. And I'm not so sure it's something to be dreaded in the Christian sense.
  4. The above chat took place in a coffee shop I'd never been to before. Davey's Delicious Bagels & Deli has a super cool artsy vibe and I really liked it. Probably the main reason I'd never been there before is because I had no idea where to park! It turns out that must be a "thing" because on the front page of their website they have a map with giant arrows pointing people to their parking (in back). So I'm pondering the importance of ease of access (or whatever you want to call this). I mean, our church space is in another church's building and we enter through a side door and it's on the third floor. Is getting there half the battle (or fun), and is that a good or bad thing? I dunno.
  5. I am also thinking on this question from James Clear: "What is something you want, but you haven't asked for?"
 Hey... just in case you forgot... it's FRIDAY! Resist those things you know won't be good for you; be open to embracing something only God could have placed in your path. ;)

Thursday, March 14, 2024

The ablation

I suppose at some point I should get around to jotting down here some specifics of the ablation procedure I had done last Tuesday, March 5. It's not that I don't want to talk about it, but, yeah, I kinda/sorta would just as soon not think about it. Still, there's the posterity aspect, and someday I may need to recall this stuff (like when I need to have this done again). Plus, I know you've been dying to hear all about it!!

WHAT I HAD DONE

I don't fully understand much of this, but I think it was called a Catheter Radiofrequency Ablation. They went through my groin with tubes and wires and burned parts of my heart. Or, as the clinical notes say:

Procedure Name
1. Ultrasound-guided bilateral femoral vein access
2. Ultrasound-guided right femoral artery access for blood pressure monitoring
3. Electrophysiology study
4. Intracardiac echocardiogram
5. Transseptal access x 1–Baylis versa cross
6. Three-dimensional electroanatomical mapping–Abbott
7. Pulmonary vein isolation–cardio focus X3 laser balloon
8. Radiofrequency ablation–cavotricuspid isthmus ablation for typical atrial flutter
9. Manual pressure and figure-of-eight sutures for hemostasis

As near as I can tell there were 23 actual ablations - whatever that means.

WHY I HAD IT DONE

I was hospitalized and diagnosed with Atrial Fibrillation (AFib) on November, 14, 2023. They did a cardioversion (shocked my heart back into rhythm) on 11/15. I then wore a monitor for two weeks and it was determined that I had persistent AFib. They suggested since it was fairly early and I'm in otherwise good health, I was a good candidate for ablation.

At the time of the procedure the EP (electrophysiologist) said I also had Atrial Flutter, which he could fix with the ablation as well. I don't know the difference.

THE PROCESS

The procedure was scheduled for Tuesday, March 5, 2024 at the Lutheran Heart Pavilion. After fasting since midnight the night before, I arrived at 5:30am with Jane holding my hand. I had preregistered and already paid the ~$3,800, so it wasn't long before they took us both back and strapped a bracelet to my arm. Then it was off to get me ready. My nurse was also named Jane, and she was super. I put on my gown, got an IV, a tech came in and shaved my front-side from neck to knees, and then I chatted with the anesthesiologist, his assistant, the EP (Dr. Rodriguez), and probably a couple other people. Right around the scheduled procedure time of 7:30am a nurse came and wheeled me down to where they did it.

The procedure room had a ton of people in it. They were all joking around and very friendly. They had me walk from my bed over to the operating table. First I sat up and they stuck monitor pads (or something) all over my back and front. People were asking me questions and everyone seemed to be talking at the same time. Finally they told me to lay down with my head on this little pink piece of foam. The anesthesiologist had told me in my room that he could give me something to help me relax before the actual anesthesia if I wanted. I told him to feel free to give me anything and everything they had! The last thing I remember is someone saying, "Okay, you can give him the good stuff," and someone else said, "He's already getting it." :)

The next thing I know I was waking up and a nurse was leaning over the side of my bed. She said they were all done and she asked me some questions (I think). Then I vaguely remember being pushed down the hall back to my room where Jane was waiting.

According to the notes I arrived in the operating room at 7:30am; the physician arrived at 8:14am; and I was out of the room at 9:59am. So almost exactly 2 1/2 hours (which is what they said it would be).

RECOVERY

I'm guessing I was in post-procedure recovery for about 1/2 hour coming out of the anesthesia, because I thought I got back to the room with Jane around 10:30. I remember feeling very relaxed and sleepy.

It was kind of a blur for awhile, but I remember them asking what I wanted to eat. There were several options and I chose yogurt with blueberries and granola. I remember Carrie being there because she said something like that's what I would be having at home. They also let me have coffee through a straw - which tastes different for some reason. Anyway, I remember it all tasted pretty good.

I needed to lay still for 3 hours to make sure I didn't bleed from the insertion sites. About that: for some reason I thought there would be one incision in the artery (or vein) in the groin area. What they actually did was go into BOTH SIDES of my groin, but instead of an incision they sort of just punctured the skin with a tube. So I had no stitches in my skin, but they did use sutures to close the artery/vein. So, I had to lay fairly still for 3 hours until they removed those sutures and made sure I wasn't bleeding. 

I don't really remember much about that 3-hour waiting period. That and the incision are what I had been most concerned about, and neither was much of an issue. 

At 1:30pm the nurse removed the sutures - and I didn't feel a thing! Then I had to wait another 30 minutes and as long as I could walk and everything seemed okay I was free to leave.

At 2pm the nurse accompanied me down the hall, I stopped and peed at the restroom, then we went back to my room and they removed the IV and told me I could get dressed.

By 2:30pm they were wheeling me out to the door and Jane picked me up to take me home!

RECUPERATING AT HOME

For 48 hours I was supposed to take it easy and avoid: heavy lifting (5 pounds or more), continuous stair climbing, prolonged walking, and squatting or bending for prolonged periods of time. The EP also suggested I take at least 5 days off from running, but I could otherwise resume normal life.

The rest of that first day I actually felt pretty good. I spent most of my time in the recliner and we watched TV.

I didn't sleep great the first few nights. My chest hurt and it was a little hard to breathe Wednesday and Thursday. I don't know if it was swelling from the ablation or the anesthesia (or both), but they said to expect it. It wasn't terrible, but I've never had a hard time breathing other than the couple times I've had bruised ribs. It's not fun.

Thursday evening was my first venture out of the house. We went to a play the two grandsons were in. It was a bit of a chore, but actually felt good to get out. Leaving their school I felt better than I did arriving. That night was the first good sleep I'd gotten and I felt much better Friday.

I think Saturday was my first actual "walk" outside and that went well. I hadn't really had any pain in the groin area like they said I might.

Saturday night I tended bar for a concert and... that just about did me in. Being on my feet for 5 hours of activity was probably not a good way to ease back into things, but I survived. I had a little groin pain, and was pretty wiped out. Fortunately our church doesn't start until 11am Sunday, and that arrived early enough. After resting the rest of Sunday, though, I felt like I was almost back to normal.

Monday afternoon I did an easy 4-mile jog and it went better than expected. My legs were a little tight, but nothing other than from being a lazy slug all week.

Wednesday was an 8-mile run and it went pretty good. Again I kept at an easy pace, which was 10:15/mile and included stopping at several lights because I went from our house to downtown. I guess I did walk a tenth of a mile during the 6th or 7th mile, but the run felt fine. I was kinda wiped out after though.

This morning was 5 miles, and I did it on the treadmill at 6am because it was supposed to rain all day and I just didn't feel like that right now. Actually, it's been storming. 

So far I feel like I'm back on track not only as far as general health, but maybe even the marathon at the end of April. My only concern is if my achilles tendons can deal with the week off or not, but I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic.

As for whether it "worked." I don't know. And probably won't until my scheduled return visit to the doctor in June. Apparently it takes 2-3 months for the heart to fully heal and during this time I can still have AFib and flutter episodes, but that doesn't necessarily mean the procedure wasn't successful. In fact, I had an AFib episode the morning after the procedure! My resting heart rate has been running higher than it used to, and I can feel things get a little wonky from time to time. However, everything else seems to have healed up, and I feel pretty good. I don't seem to have tired spells for as long or as often, and that's maybe the biggest problem I had before. So, we'll see.

And... there you have the long and short of it, folks (if anyone is still reading). Perhaps the only thing to deal with now is the itch of chest hair growing back!

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Respect is a gift you offer with your eyes

The title of this post comes from David Brooks in his book 'How to Know A Person' (32). Chapter 3, on illumination, is a warm treat on the art of seeing others. There are two segments I want to highlight:

Jimmy is a pastor. When Jimmy sees a person - any person - he is seeing a creature who was made in the image of God. As he looks into each face, he is looking, at least a bit, into the face of God. When Jimmy sees a person, any person, he is also seeing a creature endowed with an immortal soul - a soul of infinite value and dignity. When Jimmy greets a person, he is also trying to live up to one of the great callings of his faith: He is trying to see that person the way Jesus would see that person. He is trying to see them with Jesus's eyes - eyes that lavish love on the meek and the lowly, the marginalized and those in pain, and on every living person. When Jimmy sees a person, he comes in with the belief that this person is so important that Jesus was willing to die for their sake. As a result, Jimmy is going to greet people with respect and reverence. ... ... If you see the people you meet as precious souls, you'll probably wind up treating them well. (31)

In the section on generosity...

Dr. Ludwig Guttmann was a German Jew who escaped Nazi Germany in 1939 and found a job in a hospital in Britain that served paraplegics, mostly men injured in the war. When he first started working there, the hospital heavily sedated these men and kept them confined to their beds. Guttmann, however, didn't see the patients the way the other doctors saw them. He cut back on the sedatives, forced them out of bed, and started throwing balls at them and doing other things to get them active. As a result, he was summoned to a tribunal of his peers, where his methods were challenged.

"These are moribund cripples," one doctor asserted. "Who do you think they are?"

"They are the best of men," Guttmann replied.

It was his generosity of spirit that changed how he defined them. He continued organizing games, first at the hospital, then for paraplegics around the nation. In 1960 this led to the Paralympic Games. (35)


I don't know about you but... I would like to see more; and better. 

This was a good chapter.

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

The first run - again

You remember that first time, right? Whether it's running, playing an instrument, speaking in front of others, asking a girl out, sex... whatever. Sometimes it's the best; sometimes not. Either way there's a certain anxiousness and all these "what ifs." Well, this wasn't exactly the first, first time. However, yesterday was my first run after having the catheter ablation procedure last Tuesday. I was a bit nervous about how it would go.

The doctor told me to take at least five days off from running, so that's what I did. Normally I run on T-W-TH and Saturday, but I was itching to give it a try; plus I thought maybe it would be better to allow a day between the first one and the eight miles I'm supposed to do Wednesday. So, when Jane determined to do her run after work (instead of before), I decided to join her. It was a beautiful sunny 60+ degrees and it felt nice to be in shorts and a tee again - Outside! 

I went the called-for four miles at a nice easy pace (something like 10:23/m). At first it felt awkward, which often happens anyway. I didn't really even think about my breathing, and had decided not to check my heart rate until afterward. As we got going... a couple blocks into it my legs and motion started feeling "normal" again. Jane only needed to do three miles, and I kicked it up just a notch for a bit and did feel a twinge in my chest once, but I don't think it was anything. All told, it felt pretty good. My heart rate never got over 147, so I wasn't even close to maxing out.

My legs felt it more than my lungs, but by this morning I didn't have any stiffness at all. In fact, even though I didn't sleep very well, I think my heart rate actually went back lower than it had been since the procedure. I normally have a resting heart rate in the mid-forties, and it has been running in the upper fifties and low sixties since the procedure. This morning I felt calm, rested, my blood pressure was back down (114/65), my heart was more of a gentle purr than a thump. 

We will see how the eight miles goes tomorrow before I get too excited. I have held off on starting back with the two days a week of weight lifting for now - one thing at a time. Hopefully I can work my way back without an injury and pick up the marathon training minus just the one week. Fortunately this Saturday's long run is only thirteen miles. Next Saturday is nineteen!! 

Here we go!

Monday, March 11, 2024

Diminishers vs illuminators


I've begun reading 'How to Know A Person' by David Brooks. It seems like a really important book at this time in history where AI is taking over and the world - especially in the U.S. - is so polarized.

As Brooks points out in chapter 1: "If we want to begin repairing the big national ruptures, we have to learn to do the small things well." At some point we've got to look one another in the eyes and ask if we want to help things get better or not.

In this first chapter he talks about Diminishers and Illuminators. Diminishers use people and make them feel small and unseen. Illuminators, on the other hand, have "a persistent curiosity about other people. They have been trained or have trained themselves in the craft of understanding others. They know what to look for and how to ask the right questions at the right time. They shine the brightness of their care on people and make them feel bigger, deeper, respected, lit up." To sum up, they make you want to be a better version of yourself.

Then he tells these two stories:

A biographer of the novelist E.M. Forster wrote, "To speak to him was to be seduced by an inverse charisma, a sense of being listened to with such intensity that you had to be your most honest, sharpest, and best self." Imagine how good it would be to be that guy.

Perhaps you know the story that is sometimes told of Jennie Jerome, who later became Winston Churchill's mother. It's said that when she was young, she dined with the British statesman William Gladstone and left thinking he was the cleverest person in England. Later she dined with Gladstone's great rival, Benjamin Disraeli, and left that dinner thinking she was the cleverest person on England. It's nice to be like Gladstone, but it's better to be like Disraeli.


So far it's a pretty good read. Definitely something I need, because for as much as I would like to be an illuminator instead of a diminisher, it does not come naturally to me. ;)

The world needs more illuminators.

Friday, March 08, 2024

Five things friday

Even being mostly dead (at least in appearance) won't keep me from bringing you the FFF...

  1. Yes, that's me following the catheter ablation procedure earlier this week. You can thank my wife for snapping this while I was still enjoying La-la land. I will share details another day, but all is well. I do have to say, though, the weirdest thing may be adjusting to having been shaved from my neck to my knees! Now on to more important things...
  2. I recently learned two new terms: CHRINO refers to those who are Christian in Name Only, and EINO stands for Evangelical In Name Only. Yeah, that's undoubtedly always been a thing, but maybe never more so than now! Seems more and more folks want to be known for living a certain way, without necessarily having to... live that way.
  3. Personally, I don't have much use for Google Docs in my life right now. However, I know many people do use it, and I might have to again someday too. Here's a helpful list of 16 Google Doc Tips & Hacks. H/t to Josh Spector.
  4. Are you thinking of writing/publishing a book? James Clear is promoting Authors Equity. He says they are "a book publisher that will pay authors more profits than traditional publishers and provide better distribution than self-publishing options." He's even become an investor! Who wouldn't want to get paid more, get paid faster, and get to create books on your own terms—all while getting the editorial skill and mainstream distribution that comes with company behind you?
  5. Basically, we all suck... at least at this. William Ickes, a leading scholar on how accurate people are at perceiving what other people are thinking, finds that "strangers who are in the midst of their first conversation read each other accurately only about 20 percent of the time and close friends and family members do so only 35 percent of the time." Ickes also says that the longer many couples are married, the less accurate they are at reading each other (we fail to consider how people change over time). I found this innaresting tidbit in the David Brooks book 'How To Know A Person' - or, in this case, how not to).

Okay, friends, sweet dreams on the weekend stuffs you have planned. That's it for now!

Monday, March 04, 2024

Seventeen-mile saturday

This past Saturday was my last long run. 17 miles. At least the last one until I have the ablation procedure this week.

I'd been dreading it, but it was pretty good. Jane did the first 7 miles with me (as part of her half marathon training). I think I did the Lower Huntington to Bluffton Rd to the Foster Park Greenway and back around twice (plus a little finagling here and there for extra miles). I stopped at home after the first lap and refilled my water bottle and took a leak. It took just under 3 hours for a 10:30-ish pace. I went through two 21-ounce jugs of LMNT-spiked water and three GU energy gels. I was happy enough with things, mostly because I didn't have any injuries, blisters, or incidents. Afterward my left achilles was kinda sore, but I don't think it's anything.

I am now starting week 11 of my 18-week marathon training plan... and it's about to go to pot! This is supposed to be my highest mileage week, and I'm only going to get in one run - if I do it today; which is typically a day off. After the ablation I'm supposed to take a week to ten days off, and it remains to be seen how I'll feel after that. So... we'll have to see. There's no way I can make up for missing all these miles. Plus I'm not really looking forward to having someone cut into my groin and stick a bunch of wires and tubes up there all the way to my heart; oh, and then make some burn marks for good measure. ... ... I dunno. I'm a little nervous.

At any rate, I tried to look back through some previous 17-milers and some were not so good and some were okay. I'm at least glad this last one was a good run. I'd have hated for it to be like the year I had to walk at mile 11. 

Today I will maybe do 4 or 5 miles - I haven't really decided yet. It's like a day that doesn't count because I'm not sure how my legs will feel on the other side of all this. I'm probably only doing a run at all to try to keep my mind off things. 

At any rate, don't be surprised if this is the only post all week. On the other hand, there could just as likely be a million more. 

I feel kinda like I'm off to see the Wizard...

Friday, March 01, 2024

Five things friday

You know what day it is (and don't forget it is now March also)...

  1. I was chatting with a friend at the gym yesterday and it turns out his dad was having the same procedure (ablation) that day that I'm scheduled to have next week. Small world; or popular procedure.
  2. I won a free book! I hardly ever enter contests - especially online. However, the Englewood Review of Books is run by a friend/acquaintance and they were having a free giveaway of a book I wanted to get... so I entered... and I was selected to get a free copy of David Fitch's new book Reckoning with Power: Why The Church Fails When It's on the Wrong Side of Power! It made my day.
  3. Speaking of books, yesterday I started reading How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen, by David Brooks. Our pastor is reading it and he recommended it for the upcoming teaching series I'm involved in. I've read many of David's articles and like his writing, so I'm looking forward to reading this as I recover from my heart procedure.
  4. And, what the hey, let's just make this a three-book Friday. I recently added Brian McLaren's Life After Doom: Wisdom and Courage For A World Falling Apart to my amazon wish list. Not only is it being released on our wedding anniversary date, but it looks like something I really, really need to hear. Plus, I haven't read a McLaren book in awhile. He had a huge impact on my journey a number of years ago (that 'New Kind of Christian' trilogy was amazing) and I've kinda lost track of him.
  5. "It is the most counterintuitive aspect of Christianity, that we are declared right with God not once we begin to get our act together but once we collapse into honest acknowledgment that we never will." -Dane Ortlund

 And there ya have it. Have a great day, folks! Btw, what are you reading, or wanting to read??

Thursday, February 29, 2024

The worst weather for running (or some such contradiction)

I used to think running in the cold would be unbearable. However, there are plenty of studies that show it's actually good for us to be out in cold weather (supposedly -18F is the point where it's *too* cold). Somewhat the same is running in the rain. I find both to often be rather exhilarating, actually. And, personally, I don't even mind the heat if I'm used to it and can stay hydrated.

Wind, though... that's the worst. It throws off your form, the body tightens up leaving you sore afterward, and it can suck the air right out of your lungs! Even worse is a cold wind. The coup de grace is a cold wind in the rain! 

My least favorite marathon was the 2022 Indy Monumental when it was raining and there was a wind advisory. It was just brutal. I believe I shared before about being with a group trying to climb a hill and the gusts were so bad we all just stopped at the same time and dejectedly walked to flat ground.

Yesterday I had an 8-mile run scheduled. It rained in the morning, then turned to snow in the afternoon. I managed to find a mostly dry window between (a little sleet before the snow), but the wind was ferocious. My first mile was directly into it, and I was freezing and thought several times about just turning around and crawling under a blanket. Once I turned down Bluffton Road it wasn't so bad, plus there's a slight downhill grade. I meandered a bit down the Foster Park greenway and it was almost kind of nice... until I turned around! Ugh. The next three miles were a bit of a challenge, but once I got to the final mile, with the wind at my back, what had been the worst one way was the best going home.

Today I'm a bit sore from fighting the gales, so I'm presently procrastinating about my four mile jog. At least the sun is shining and the flags are standing still. I suppose it's about time...

I do have to say, though, it might actually be the worst weather that makes for the best feeling when it's done. I suppose there's a metaphor for life about the sense of accomplishment.

So, what is it you dread doing right now? You never know, it could be the best part of your day! Sometimes you just gotta... and it's okay. :)

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Happier with h.e.a.l.

Can you train yourself to be happier? Well, apparently there is new research saying that very thing is psychologically possible.

This article (from 2022) suggests the "HEAL Method" to happiness:

1. Have the enjoyable experience

This can be by actually doing something enjoyable, or even thinking about something you've done or someone who cares about you.

2. Enrich the experience through these sub-steps

“Focus on multiple aspects of the experience, including its meaning, your perceptions and sensations, the way it feels and taking action. Increase the novelty of the experience so that it sticks out more in your mind and heighten the personal relevance of the experience by delving into your feelings about it.”

3. Absorb the experience

"For example, after a night out with friends, spend some time reflecting on how socializing made you feel, what particular parts you enjoyed and what you gained from the experience."

4. Link positive and negative material

“Focus on something positive even while you’re aware of negative material in the background,” suggest the researchers. “For example, become more involved in the film you’re watching while still noticing that your dread of the coming work day continues to persist. The positive should ultimately drown out the negative in this step.”

 

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about some of this stuff. I mean, as a follower of Jesus, I'm not sure exactly where happiness is supposed to fit into the equation. Not that we should be in a constant state of sorrow, but maybe the manufacture of good feelings isn't all it's cracked up to be. I don't know.

That said, though, I can see some value here. For instance, I've mentioned before about how I can get while watching my grandkids sporting events. I don't much like myself when cynicism creeps in and I'm the grouchy old man in the stands.

So this past weekend as I watched my granddaughter play basketball I tried to change that. I did have a positive experience. It was fun. I tried to enrich the experience by keeping in mind my role as being one of support and encouragement not only for my granddaughter but the team and school as a whole. Afterward I absorbed the experience by looking through pictures and reliving the joy of the occasion and how it made me and everyone involved feel. Then I linked positive and negative by reflecting on how, even though her team lost and it was a trying circumstance, it was such a good effort and it really was more enjoyable for me being supportive rather than being grumpy. It seemed to be an enjoyable experience in spite of some unfortunate events going on around it (two girls got suspended before the final game). 

Meh, who knows. Sometimes I think I can get carried away with things like this, but I can also get carried away with what is or isn't supposed to be "the right thing to do." Maybe the best thing is to just not get so carried away. :) 

Monday, February 26, 2024

One love (movie)

We went to an actual movie theater for the first time in I don't know how long! It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and we decided, "What the heck, let's go see the 'Bob Marley movie.'" 

We've been fans/followers since the album Exodus came out in the late 1970s. It was and still is a favorite. For some reason I also always remember reading a book on Rastafarianism either as I ended high school or just after. It was one of the few books I remember buying at the time. I suppose the fact my lovely wife's initials are J.A.H. has also endeared us to the movement

As for the movie Bob Marley: One Love... I really, really wanted this to be a good movie that did not disappoint. However, I feel this critic aptly summed it up as "a sanitized take on an icon." Here's a snippet from their full review:

Marley’s status as an icon is rightly celebrated, as is his artistry, meaning this will receive a warm reception to hard core fans. However, the absence of the grittier elements of his legacy means this isn’t the whole story. 

Yeah... it's not like it was a bad movie... but I feel he did not receive his full due as a revolutionary and was hoping it would dig a little deeper. I suppose that's how these things go though.

It was still a nice way to spend an afternoon with the one I love, reminisce a bit about our past, and take in some great reggae music. Certainly I was hoping for a bit more, but it's not like that should be dismissed... and maybe Bob would have been cool if that were enough for everyone...

Friday, February 23, 2024

Five things friday

How can it be Friday already? Of course you know the answer... It comes after Thursday, which comes after Wednesday, which... yada yada. Anyway, here's what's rattling 'round my noggin' this morning:

  1. I had a great conversation with a friend on the topic of - friendship (even though the stupid coffee shop didn't open until 9am!). My question: Do old white guys have anything to offer? Are we the reason it's so difficult anymore? Is our "place" now to simply shut up and get out of the way, or is that shirking our responsibility of imparting learned experience? Is wisdom even a thing anymore (does anyone have any/ has anyone ever had any?)? It's a hard place to be - for everyone (I think). My friend suggested we approach friendship as art. I think that's a great way of thinking about it! How does an artist approach a work? Perhaps stepping back and pondering... which, you know, kinda sounds like how Jesus often approached things (again, in my opinion, that is). Lots to wonder about...
  2. It's on my mind a lot. I'm beginning to brace myself that even though I am now at the halfway point in my marathon training schedule... it's probably not going to happen. For me. The more I read about the upcoming catheter ablation (which I'm trying not to do), the more convinced I am that it will be next to impossible (or at least highly inadvisable) to attempt a marathon six weeks later. Not that training is ever wasted, but my concern is what happens next... (and I apologize for deleting the previous #2 and replacing it with this - trying to minimize controversy here).
  3. Apparently President Biden canceled 1.2 Billion dollars in federal student debt this week. I have no idea how that works or what it means, but I thought it funny how one publication noted: "Congrats to those three students." Lol
  4. Some items of note from TFU: 1) F1 > F2 = SQ means: if the fear of change (F1) is greater than the fear of not changing (F2), the Status Quo will prevail. 2) Looksmaxxing = the goal of men going under the knife to get a chiseled face. 3) Boy sober = when women choose to avoid men.
  5. From Henri Nouwen's 'The Way of the Heart' (64): "...silence of the heart is much more important than silence of the mouth... Silence is primarily a quality of the heart that leads to ever-growing charity." 
 There are so many things going on in the world today and all around us... I keep coming back to how terrible I am, and how much I long to be better at... silence (of the heart); learning to be still. It's work (for me). Do you think it's worth it??

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Tree trimming


We had two trees trimmed in our back yard yesterday. Of course I forgot to get a 'before' pic, and didn't feel right taking any 'during' pics. So both these are what they look like now after the fact. 

This had been on my to-do list for... yeah, several years. Suffice to say this was perhaps my most-procrastinated project ever. I know. I'm not proud.

Actually, it wasn't entirely my fault. It's not easy finding someone to do tree work anymore. I called two companies that had good ratings and I never received a response. Finally I called Marvin - who has a giant sign in his yard a couple blocks away - and he got back to me within the hour. He was here the next day with a quote, and since it's the 'off-season' was able to do it whenever I wanted (plus at an off-season price).

Originally I hoped to have like the top 1/3 of both these trees removed, so we would still get good shade in the summer. However, Marvin suggested removing some of the lower branches growing sideways or downward that posed a greater risk of falling on the house and/or power line and preserving the sturdiest branches straight up that are the main part of the tree. That made sense, plus they use "climbers" instead of a bucket truck so it would have been near impossible to top these trees in the limited space we have. 

Not only did I have to call a tree trimmer, but Marvin also suggested I call the power company and have them drop the line from the pole to my house. He said they could work around it if need be, but it was a lot safer doing it beforehand and would maybe save having to pay to have them reconnect if it were to accidentally get taken down by a limb (they do it for free if you schedule it before). So I made TWO phone calls! Whew.

The day of the work (yesterday): The power company was set to disconnect our power at 8:30am. I ran my 7 miles at the gym and hurried home to get ready. However the guy was here at 8! That was fine, but I wasn't able to get a shower when I planned to. Anyway, it was near 8:30 when he was done, and then I got a text from Marvin that his "climber" went to the ER that morning, so he was waiting on his second climber. He said he would be there around 9:30. Shortly after that Marvin and his wife showed up, along with a pickup pulling a flat-bed trailer with three other guys. I believe the first limb was dropped at 10:10am. 

There was one climber and the other two guys and Marvin's wife did cleanup on the ground. Marvin himself had just had carpel tunnel surgery, so he was on the ground supervising the climber. They didn't have a chipper, but instead just loaded all the branches and downed logs onto the trailer. I couldn't believe they got it all in one load.

I had a lunch meeting at 11:30, and when I got back at 12:45 the climber was done and gone, the power company had returned to reconnect the electricity, and the ground crew was just cleaning up. I wrote them a check for the agreed-upon $1850 and they were gone before 2pm. That went way quicker than I expected.

I'd say everything went okay. It was a little nerve-racking listening to big limbs thud on the ground, and a couple times I heard scrape-age on the side of the house; one big limb was tied off on a rope and back-swung into the sliding-glass door, but nothing was damaged. I still wish the trees weren't so tall, but I'm not really in the mood to pay someone else to bring a truck in now and top them. I also didn't really want to lose that much shade, but it will be nice not having to pick up as many sticks and worrying quite as much about limbs on the house or power line. So, all in all, that part of it went well.

Personally... ugh. I was nervous as a cat about this. Not only the tree work, but the power disconnect too. It seems any time things like this are done there is almost always something that comes up. Plus I felt kinda like I was all alone in this endeavor, and I don't do well on my own. On top of that I was not feeling great. I haven't slept for crap in days, my heart rate had been high and heavy (which always makes it difficult to sleep) and my blood pressure had been up a little. In addition to the physical I've also been dealing with some mental stuff in regard to communication and loneliness... and I was a wreck. I didn't sleep much again last night and just lay on the couch totally exhausted. Finally I noticed I couldn't hear or feel my heart pounding at least, and wonder if I just wore myself out.

Today it is raining (unlike the beautifully sunny 60F we had yesterday). I lifted weights early like usual and intended to run outside at 8. I just can't get into 45 degrees in the rain though, so I'm still just sitting here. 

I'm glad the tree work is done - though I will still worry about limbs falling on our house, the power line, or the neighbors house or fence (and they would likely do more damage now). I continue to feel up and down physically (and it seems more down now than it used to). I'm tired. I've got one of those 'gut feelings' that I don't like. And... I just don't like feeling like I'm alone. I feel kinda like this tree looks. All by myself, exposed and vulnerable. 

Such is life, I suppose. We never know when a part of us will be lopped off. And so I've once again managed to turn something as simple as trimming trees into a sad yarn about my pathetic life. You're welcome. Just be glad YOU don't have to live with me and my brain...


Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Who is the honest broker and why you should care

Who is the honest broker? His name is Ted Gioia. Click on his name for his website, or go HERE for his full bio. This is the sum-up:

Ted Gioia is a cultural critic, music historian, record producer, and jazz pianist. He has published 12 books, translated into 9 languages, and is author of the popular Substack newsletter The Honest Broker.

That first little bit there (cultural critic) is why I think you should care.

I don't know if you're a substack reader or not. I follow a few people, and though I don't really want to, I will likely be opening mine up to the public one of these days (why can't we all just blog again?). But if you want to KNOW stuff... you should read Ted's The Honest Broker (not to be confused with someone else who also has a substack by the same name). You can get the app or just insert your email on the link right back there.

Or, let's say you don't want to do that... then at least check out these two posts by Ted:

I almost guarantee both will raise your blood pressure and/or send you into a state of depression (well, maybe not, but you've been warned). Lemme just drop this sample slide in here from The State of the Culture:

 

Yeah, we are all addicts, or slowly making our way there. What's happening ain't pretty. THAT is really why you should care.

So, now you know all that.

You're welcome. :)

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Life together


I finished Dietrich Bonhoeffer's  Life Together in the wee hours of the morning (I couldn't sleep). It was originally published in 1939 (German), and was published in English in 1954 by John W. Doberstein.

And... I gotta be honest... I'd heard a lot of hype about this work over the years. I expected to really like it (and not just because it's only 122 pages). I WANTED to like it! Maybe it was my foul mood, or the archaic language, but it did not match the blurb on the linked Amazon site in my opinion. I was disappointed.

As someone else summarized, "He aims to describe the nature of Christian community through five concepts and devotes a chapter to each: Community, The Day with Others, The Day Alone, Ministry, and Confession and Communion." That's an apt description.

Certainly it is not without any substance. I thought this sort of set the tone for not only this work, but Bonhoeffer's life in general:

"Bonhoeffer was born in a family of seven children in Breslau, in what is now East Germany. He grew up, however, in Berlin, where his father, a noted physician, was the first to occupy a chair of psychiatry in Germany. From his father, as he wrote in his last letter from prison, he learned, what characterizes all that he wrote, an insistent realism, a 'turning away from the phraseological to the real.' For him Christianity could never be merely intellectual theory, doctrine divorced from life, or mystical emotion, but always it must be responsible, obedient action, the discipleship of Christ in every situation of concrete everyday life, personal and public. And it was this that led him in the end to prison and death..." (8)

 This clip from pp.26-27 under the heading 'Not an Ideal but a Divine Reality' also hit home for me:

"Innumerable times a whole Christian community has broken down because it had sprung from a wish dream... He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial... God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious..."

 

Meh, I don't know, it's not that the book was bad... it was just so difficult to read. I'll also admit that my expectations were likely a tad high as well. So, I'm glad I read it, but I'm also glad it's been moved to the 'finished' pile...